Not-Exist

(credit: Rupert Grint)

Have you ever feel that people don't need your existence? It hurts like hell and this is what I feel right now. Ihave several friends at school. I laugh with them, have lunch together with them, do school homework/projects with them, but I still feel lonely. Sometimes I feel like I am in an empty large space even tough I am with my friends and I feel empty, alone, and hollow.

Well, I have this friend that I've known since elementary school. We go to the same school and I'm happy with that. There is a couple thoughts that I always trying to get rid of: 1.) Bad thoughts about what will my friend do if we go to the same school together; 2.) A thought about she'll take all I wanted in this new school. Maybe I'm just being paranoid and dramatic but these thoughts always haunt me.

She has friends, I have friends too. But there is something that always bugging me. I feel that she start taking all of my new friends from me. I know I am being paranoid and dramatic, I am aware of that. But here is the thing, she started to ignoring me. I don't know why, I don't know the reason why she did it. For example: I was walking with my classmate and then we came across her. She'll only say hi to my classmate. Well, sometimes she say hi me too but always my classmate first. Why did she do that? I am her best friend.

I hate it when people who know me (and I know them) didn't say hi to me even tough they saw me. For example: I am walking with A. I am a friend of A and B. But when we came across B, B only say hi to A. I am there too for god sake.

Uhh I don't know what is happening in my life.